December 17th, 2007 at 4:10am
panic disorder sucks. if there are any of you out there that have a had a panic attack you feel my pain and for those of you that haven’t i hope to shiva you never will. on sept 30 2006 i had a panic attack and not a little one mind you. i had the full on, “im going to die, im having a heart attack at 23 convulsing on my bathroom floor” it didn’t stop for two weeks. it wasn’t that bad all the time but i lived in my bed in a constant state of panic and fear. what i was afraid of? i have no idea. i lost weight, my hair was falling out, i couldn’t eat and i was ecstatic if i could get 30 minutes of sleep a day. on october 2 i called my husband at work and told him, “i need help i think im going insane.”
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November 20th, 2007 at 9:46pm
“The psychological feature that arouses an organism to action toward a desired goal” This is a definition i found for motivation. what an interesting thing motivation is. i was wondering about this definition and why some people have so much and others so little. i of course fall into the latter category. don’t get me wrong, i get out of bed in the morning, feed myself, take care of my animals and husband. i’m talking about hard core motivation. or maybe just talking about the average motivation of a determined person.
we all know this person. the one in your school, work or social life that seems to have their shit together. they have a plan of where their life is going and they make it happen. they say they want something and they get it. they don’t beg, borrow or steal, they work for it, the good old fashioned way. we are all motivated my a myriad of things whether it be money, reputation, fame, comfort, love, greed, hate or just because that’s all they know how to do. i have a motivation problem. i’m not quite sure what to do about this problem. i love coming up with grand ideas for my life, shit, not even that far off, my days. at night before sleeping i practice and rehearse all the things i will do the following day.
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November 17th, 2007 at 9:23pm
my husband did a phenomenal thing about a year ago, he got me hooked on crack. not just any crack, the good shit.
if you haven’t ever watched 24 stop reading this, punch yourself in the face and then go rent the first season. i say punch yourself because that’s what i would do to anyone that offended me that much. and it is offensive that you haven’t watched this torture laced masterpiece.
that’s right kids, if you want to know who started that nasty rumour about your herpes, find out from your mom where your dad stashes the extra cash or just for shits and giggles watch 24 and you will learn how to get anything out on anybody. now i know that there are some people that say, “24 desensitizes people to what torture really is and teaches them that whenever you use it, it will work. when in reality, torture has been shown not to be that rewarding. you can get what you want to know even if it isn’t true if you torture someone” this was an actual conversation i had with some people recently at my local dog park when talking about 24. and you know what i think? who gives a fuck.
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November 17th, 2007 at 7:11pm
so here i am. finally decided to take the plunge into the complex lake that is the internet. with the help of very experienced web presence, i’ve decided i can do it! before i set this little place up though, i was instructed that i must take the pledge.
so my dear friends with that in mind i push forward and will try to honor that pledge. feel free to comment and tell me whatever you want. i do however have carte blanche and from time to time will ignore you, engage you, disagree with you and possibly, agree with you.
